This is part 5 of the popular "Marianne's Life Advice in a Nutshell" series. Remember, folks, this is free advice and worth every penny! Some of our earlier articles in the series were about what to do in case of being laid off, and the sure fire cure for mild depression.
Getting Guys to Help around the House and Various other Marriage Tips
A. Nagging actually makes guys less likely to do whatever it is you need them to do. Its far better to give them a written list of three or four things. Put the one thing you NEED done and three things that would be nice to have done. You'll be surprised that a couple of the nice to haves might get done along with the one need to have and you won't have to yammer about it. They seem to end up doing the nice to have done tasks as a procrastination for that one yucky task you really need them to do. (You can actually psych yourself out this way too by giving yourself such a to do list.) So, go get out your ink pens and make a list. Check out "Getting Things Done" for a great method for doing your list.
B. If you ask your partner to do something and they don't to it in a timely manner, don't nag them about it, just do it yourself with a smile. This actually makes them really mad for some reason. The less you act mad about it the more it annoys them. Like, I will say Jin, will you take out the trash? And if he doesn't do it I will do it. Then he will stomp over there and be all like "I was going to take out the trash." and I will be like "No biggie, I took care of it." He's now all pissed off and next time he might get that trash out a bit faster so I can't one up him like that.
C. Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition - marriage is a 100% 100% proposition. Both people need to be willing to make sacrifices and work hard for each other and the family. Don't forget that you are both on the same team. Don't keep score - its not a contest on who is the biggest martyr, who changed the last diaper, or who had the worse day at work. Be ready to pick up the slack when your partner needs you. Give them a foot rub without them having to ask for it.
